Ep.36: In Memory of Nex - A Stand Against Silence and Hate

# Satanists Nextdoor
# Ep.36: In Memory of Nex - A Stand Against Silence and Hate

[Lilin Lavin]
Welcome dear listeners to Satanist Next Door. We're your hosts, Lilin Lavin and Tommy Lavin. Whether you're an open-minded curious onlooker or fellow Satanist-seeking camaraderie, our goal is to share our personal experiences and delve into the intricate tapestry of Satanism in our daily lives, occasionally inviting other guests to share their unique perspectives, leaving no pentagram unturned.

We'll explore how our beliefs shape our views on society, dive into struggles and triumphs we've encountered, and reveal the humanity that unites us all. So grab your favorite chalice and join us on this captivating journey. Satanist Next Door is ready to peel back the curtain and offer you a glimpse into our world, one captivating episode at a time.

[Tommy Lavin]
Hello and welcome to another episode of Satanist Next Door. In this episode, we're going to be discussing Next Benedict and the tragedy that happened to them. And it kind of brings me back to our first ever podcast episode was about the LGBTQIA pride and community.

And so when something like this happens, I feel it is still important. It will always be important to cover stories like this and continue the conversation and to make sure that, you know, these atrocities don't go quietly into the night.

[Lilin Lavin]
And I'm very happy that many, many, many, many people have come out in support of Next, their life, their unfortunate murder. And it was, you know, whether or not it was intended to be, that's what happened. And just really looking at this ongoing constant issue and the fact that people in Oklahoma are largely to blame for what happened.

Well, yeah, I mean, around the world, this is not a very like unique thing to Oklahoma, but Oklahoma specifically, because when it comes to schools, there's a particular individual that I definitely feel is largely to be held responsible for these things becoming so much more acceptable. And I mean, the abuse against the LGBTQIA plus community.

[Tommy Lavin]
Yeah. The superintendent. Yeah.

What the fuck's his name?

[Lilin Lavin]
Ryan. No, it's Ryan Walters. Ryan Walters.

Yeah. We'll talk about him later.

[Tommy Lavin]
Yeah. I mean, well, yeah, there's him. And, and then, you know, the added libs of TikTok onto there.

Yeah. We could get into some of that stuff later as far as.

[Lilin Lavin]
The important thing is to talk about Next Benedict and what they meant to their community. They were someone that people loved, their family loved, their community loved, their friends loved. This was a 16 year old.

Yeah. A 16 year old going to school in high school, just, you know, and the what did they do wrong? They were non-binary and they stood up for themselves and their friends because they were tired of being treated like crap.

I mean, this is not a reason for someone to be dead. No, no matter why. This is the underlying reason why they're, they're not here anymore.

[Tommy Lavin]
Yeah.

[Lilin Lavin]
You can't unalive somebody just because you don't agree with their way of living or their orientation or whatever. Yeah.

[Tommy Lavin]
I mean, this is a story that I've kind of watched unfold and I know not everything on it is, you know, totally out yet. You know, I don't think they've got a coroner's report or anything like that, but I also don't think it takes a brain surgeon to figure out.

[Lilin Lavin]
I have little faith when it comes to that. Look at Evaldi.

[Tommy Lavin]
Yeah. I was just about to say, you know, I mean, we, we saw in Texas, which is in Oklahoma, but Texas and Oklahoma are pretty damn close as far as the, the, the corruption that, that goes on at those levels. And you see what happened with Evaldi, you know, again, different issue, but still, you know, they were pinning fucking medals on these police officers chest for Evaldi a couple of days after it.

And then all of a sudden the shit finally came out. Nothing in this day and age with, you know, so many phones, so many cameras, so many, you're not going to be able to just cover shit up the way that you used to be able to.

[Lilin Lavin]
Yeah. And this, this pisses me off on so many different levels, but just starting, this was a person who deserved the right to have a life, no matter what other people might've thought about it. Next was 16 years old.

Okay. And I was reading some different stories. Next lived the walking dead.

They enjoyed drawing. They loved to read and play arc and Minecraft. They had a cat named Zeus.

They were a person who had a life and passions and a heart for their community. And now they're not with us. Yeah.

And that's what I want people to really focus on. What are we doing to stop this from happening? Matthew Shepard, 20 some odd years ago now, same kind of crap.

Some people did not agree with their, their life, their choice relationships, the way that they were existing, offended some people. And they felt that it was incumbent on them to do something about it. No, you have no business telling other people how to live, whether or not they have a right to exist.

And a loss of high school in Owasa, Oklahoma, you guys have some explaining to do.

[Tommy Lavin]
Well, yeah, I mean, so with next, I watched the, the body cam from the police officer when he was interviewing next and next his mother, you know, and, and there were some, what I would say, troubling statements or things that I heard from the officer in that you know, yes, I, I, I will agree if you throw water or throw, you know, something at a person, you initiate an altercation. However, three on one, isn't just, you know, it's, it's not a, at that point, it's no longer just an altercation between two people. And on top of that, if I was to get in a fight with a person, let's say even I started it and, and, you know, the person beat me to a pulp and then, you know, knocked me unconscious so much that I later passed from that they would go to jail.

I mean, or at least law enforcement would get involved because that is a level of violence that far exceeded what, you know, would normally happen during an altercation.

[Lilin Lavin]
Well, I mean, no one out there can see how hard I just rolled my eyes. I understand what it is that you're saying. I really do.

I get the point. They have been abused and assaulted verbally for how long that is just as bad as throwing some water on someone out of frustration. It's worse.

I would say throwing water on someone out of frustration. You can only be bullied. Yes.

So far. Yes. It's worse.

[Tommy Lavin]
What I was talking about was the legal aspect of it. I get it.

[Lilin Lavin]
I know.

[Tommy Lavin]
I know.

[Lilin Lavin]
We had this discussion with, with our kids, you know, as we discussed what happened, because it did bring up important points. You know, if you have kids or you're a mentor to kids, especially in the LGBTQIA community, this is a very good time to have another discussion because we're already having these discussions in so many minority communities about what to and not to do. So society doesn't do this to you, which in and of itself is a problem.

But we did have the conversation about don't do things that could be perceived as starting a fight. I don't think flicking some water or pouring some water on a person just deserves to be smashed into the ground to the point where an injury happens, whether or not that's why they passed. I don't know why they passed.

I know that this is the underlying cause, the constant abuse they've been suffering is the cause, regardless of what the end result is.

[Tommy Lavin]
Yeah. You know, and again, I, I look on social media, I see the comments and, and things like that. And, you know, people are just, yeah, I'm not going to comment on their family life.

I don't know. Nope. I have no idea about the family life.

Wasn't even going there. You know, but you would see people saying, well, you know, they were obviously talking afterwards. So they're okay.

Well, you know, if you've ever watched sports or any, you know, seen what can happen with a brain injury, you can be fine for day, two days, three days, and then all of a sudden pass from it. I mean, that's happened to boxers. It's happened to MMA fighters, football players, brain injuries.

[Lilin Lavin]
We had a situation where one of our kids ended up having appendicitis. You would not have otherwise known that they were suffering appendicitis. It was just, there were symptoms that were similar enough.

So we took them to the hospital and it turned out they were. And as a matter of fact, shortly after we got there, their appendix ruptured. But while they were even getting the ultrasound, they were still able to laugh and joke.

This was a serious thing. They were in pain, but the way a lot of younger people experience, a lot of people, but younger people in particular experience pain is different because they have very different thresholds for expressing it. And then when you add in things like potential neurodivergence and things like that, and again, it changes the way that they experience and express pain.

So that is not an indicator that they were just fine. So those people that are out there saying that you are abhorrent jerks. Well, they are.

[Tommy Lavin]
And again, like I said, when I was watching the video, I was watching as the officer was sort of starting to spin this into it being next is fault, which again, you know, I was like, from a legal point of view, I can say, yes, next started an altercation by throwing the water because at that point it's assault. But the, the reaction to that was over the top that that is where it went beyond that. Because I mean, heck, if we can, if we can, you know, do that to somebody for throwing water, well, that's a Satanist, you know, we've had water thrown at us.

We've had pages thrown at us. Is that the new rule?

[Lilin Lavin]
Is that the bar spit on?

[Tommy Lavin]
I mean, one of my kids was out in public and got spit on that's technically assault, but what you do with that, that doesn't mean that they can then go and bash their, their head into the ground and kill the person.

[Lilin Lavin]
So, I mean, if it does, there's a lady that hit me in the grocery store, the part that I need to go and talk to. No, I wouldn't know. I'm not, I'm not at all condoning that.

But the thing is, that's just it from a large portion of society. People would not act this way. You have a difference of opinion with someone, you have a little whatever, and then people usually go their own ways.

But I'm noticing an escalation in aggressive behavior from some people. And I'm really having a problem with it. So of course, safety first, have conversations with your loved ones, discuss safety, knowing your exits, knowing how to deescalate situations, knowing not to be the instigator, having safe processes.

And I know this sounds crazy to have to have these conversations, but we're having shooter drills in school. So this is not out of the realm of reality. Have, you know, an emergency contact for when you're at school.

You know, that way, there's someone that's available in an emergency. Know how to, you know, just excuse yourself. I don't care what's happening in school.

There's nothing worth you being hurt for. Go to the office and tell them that you need to contact an individual, whoever that is, that is legally able to get you from school and make sure that you have someone to help you. And because these things are happening and you have a right to to leave the situation for your safety.

[Tommy Lavin]
And it was very bothersome that the school didn't do anything. I mean, they didn't call the No. And I will say that the officer when interviewing, he copped to that much, no pun intended there.

He did say the school didn't follow protocol because they were because it was a fight. They were supposed to call an office. They were supposed to bring, you know, these kids down there.

But whether it was a teacher, the nurse, again, I don't know all the details.

[Lilin Lavin]
I wasn't there, but there's a lot of things that are right now up in the air. There's some footage that shows them on stable as they're trying to walk. There's some footage that shows them acting confused.

These are all very concerning symptoms. Whether or not anything else occurred. I don't know what happened at the hospital.

I don't know other things that may have happened between when this incident occurred and their passing. I don't know. What I do know is this is another individual harmed by a group of people that are absolutely opposed to their existence and other people don't get to dictate who has a right to exist.

Sorry.

[Tommy Lavin]
Yeah. And there was the senator, I think it was Todd or Tom Woods, that their reaction was basically we don't want them in our state. That filth.

That filth. Yeah. We don't want that filth in our state.

And so that's, again, that's giving a green light. That's basically telling the people, the kids, whoever it is, hey, it's okay to go do this because us as your representatives, we're telling you we don't want this filth in our state. And that is just disgusting.

I do not understand how somebody's able to keep a Senate seat or how, I don't know if he's Senator House, but regardless, a congressional seat saying something like that. I mean, it's our checks and balances have gone out the fucking window and it's just, it's really disturbing.

[Lilin Lavin]
I don't care what position you have. If you have any kind of position of authority where you're charged with caring for a community and you say things like that, that's done. You've proven that you are unworthy to hold a position to be responsible for other individuals' safety and lives.

The end. And there's so many problems in Oklahoma. And as a Texan, I recognize this because we have so many problems legislatively, politically, in so many different facets, businesses, schools.

There's so many things wrong throughout the United States right now. But Oklahoma has this absolute piece of trash that is involved in the school that has repeatedly done a lot of very, very, very concerning things. And I don't even know where to begin.

So the individual in question is Mr. Ryan. You're talking about Ryan? Ryan Walters.

[Tommy Lavin]
Yeah.

[Lilin Lavin]
Superintendent. The superintendent of the school. And Mr. Walters has a very troubling history of just being an absolute piece of shit. So they have essentially said that there are only two genders. That's how God created us, my friend. Your personal religious beliefs, which you're entitled to.

I fully support you having the right to have whatever religious belief you choose. Those religious beliefs apply to you. You don't get to dictate other individuals and students whether or not you want to accept us because of your religious views, sir.

They're individuals. They are not small little manufactured pieces of their parents that you get to push around because you're an adult and you're in a place of respect. Respect is earned and you've done nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing to earn anyone's respect.

[Tommy Lavin]
Yeah. Well, I mean, so this, this Ryan asshole, he's, you know, he's, he's definitely brought in, he's brought in some different stuff to Oklahoma. I think this is the same superintendent that did some other religious shit, but none.

[Lilin Lavin]
Yeah.

[Tommy Lavin]
On this one, they brought in the libs of tick tock as part of their, what was it? The library board or some shit like that to review books.

[Lilin Lavin]
So in their own words, Ryan Walters said that they absolutely brought in this horrible trash human being. Um, I'm not even, you know, they, they rain chick from libs of tick tock. They have some of the worst, most inflammatory, horrible things to say, and their whole shtick in, in life is to just exist, to reiterate people's hateful rhetoric and put their own spin on it.

This is literally all they do. They take the most hateful things in society and they turn it into something that they're commenting on based on their shitty little perspective. And they are a horrible, just cardboard cutout of a human being.

Um, they essentially brought them in to do this, whatever, like library board that they have. Um, they don't live in Oklahoma. No, they have no education as a educator librarian.

They have zero experience in child education, uh, psychological development, nothing that would give me any indication that they have any reason to be involved in literary science.

[Tommy Lavin]
No, he brought him in because of their anti-LGBTQIA, um, stance and how vocal they are on it, on social media about it. Literally the only reason. Yeah.

I mean, that's, that's the only reason that they, they brought them in.

[Lilin Lavin]
So in Edmond public schools, which is also in Oklahoma, there was an outcry about some books. Um, and they were saying that Edmond public school was fighting to keep pornography in classrooms. Okay.

So Edmond reached out to say, we actually want, um, the Supreme court in Oklahoma to intervene and attempted to say like the Oklahoma department of education wanted to ban books from the shelves. Um, two books that were cited was the kite runner by Khalid Hosseini and, um, the glass castle by Jeanette Walls. Maybe you've never seen these books.

Maybe you've never heard of them. There is, there is not, this is not what I would consider pornographic. These are two very important stories.

One being a work of mostly fiction based in a real period of time in Afghanistan, um, where people were trying to juggle with very difficult topics. And the glass castle is a memoir that recounts an individual's life, their actual life experience, something that a lot of young people may be able to relate to in one way or another. Um, just dealing with parental issues, dealing with life issues, dealing with a lot of chaos that they had to experience with their siblings and how they overcame those things to also look at the positive aspects of their life, regardless of the negative things that happened.

Now, these are two books that deal with similar themes. They reflect on the past. They talk about guilt.

They talk about redemption. They talk about forgiveness. I have a hard time understanding, Oh, what makes these things pornographic, right?

So this is the mentality that we're dealing with things like next when they are trying to just exist in an environment where they're seen as filth. Um, and that is a problem. So what do we as a society do to address this?

Well, we look at what kind of people we're putting in certain positions. Ryan Waters should not be where they are. They don't represent the best interest of kids, not psychologically, not emotionally, not educationally.

And they're not a good leader. They're not leading by example. They're not doing anything that gives me any indication that they have qualities that I would want my children to emulate at all.

And so one thing we as people in a community, because this is taxpayer money creates what the schools are, right? And we demand that these kind of people are not being put in those places. We get involved in voting in the not big elections.

When we're voting for school board members, when we're putting people into these positions, we are making sure to figure out who they are, because this is affecting your community later down the line, whether or not you recognize this.

[Tommy Lavin]
I think you said something that was key there. And it is that we need to be diligent about voting, not only in the big election every four years, right? But voting in elections where they elect the school board members, where they elect, you know, a lot of these local public officials, because that's where all this shit starts.

And then once they get in there, it's like a cancer, and they just start growing and growing and growing. And they push these bigoted, hateful sort of views. And kids are very influential, you know.

And so when they see this sort of bigotry and hate from their parents, from the superintendent, from people in positions of power.

[Lilin Lavin]
I'm not afraid to say it. When Trump was president, I would see them saying things on TV, because we're very active in politics. And I know, I caught myself many times saying, if I ever catch you acting like that, we're going to have a problem when I'm talking to my kids, because there was nothing healthy or positive.

There was just so much vitriolic nonsense and pathological lies, blatant lies, and stupidity just constantly on display. And this is from the highest position that one could hope to achieve. I mean, maybe you don't hope to achieve, but it is one of those positions that merit strong influence.

[Tommy Lavin]
Darrell Bock Well, yeah, I mean, it goes along with, I was having a conversation on social media today. And we were talking about, and it had to do with women's rights, but it also kind of had to do a little bit with the LGBTQIA community. And it was when did they start saying the outside stuff, or the inside stuff outside?

And it was basically, I came back and I said, well, I remember the change was about 2016. Yes, these views have been there for a very long time. And before that, the LGBTQIA community has been treated as othered forever.

I mean, you know, but we were starting to make progress. And now we're falling backwards and backwards and backwards.

[Lilin Lavin]
And now... Cristina Curp It's so backward to me. And you brought this up, I just found it.

It's Mr. Tom Woods. Darrell Bock Yeah, Tom Woods. Cristina Curp Tom Woods, Republican of Westville, Westville, Oklahoma, where are you at?

I'd love to see you guys write some very respectful, but strong words about how you feel about this, because he said he's representing you when he makes this statement. So following what happened to Next Benedict, this person said, I represent a constituency that doesn't want that filth in Oklahoma. Now, they weren't referencing people that assaulted someone or jumped someone as a group or, you know, intentionally or unintentionally murdered someone with their actions.

They were talking about an individual who loved to cook, who was 16, who, by all accounts, loved their community, loved their family. This is a child. We're calling a child who was killed because of hatred, filth.

Not the people that are being hateful, not the people that are assaulting people, but the 16 year old who's no longer with us.

[Tommy Lavin]
Darrell Bock Yeah. And I mean, no matter what your politics are, no matter what your personal or religious beliefs are, the answer to a child being killed is never, we don't want that filth in our, you know, in our district or in our state. That is never an acceptable answer to a tragedy.

I can't even imagine. I mean, imagine somebody saying something like that about any other child.

[Lilin Lavin]
Any other person. I mean, we've seen this historically. Like I said, Matthew Shepard is someone that was about 25 years ago.

Same sort of thing. A lot of people had a lot of opinions. You have no right to decide who gets to, that's not the way this works.

I don't care if you like a person's quote unquote lifestyle. That's not a lifestyle. This is who they are.

Choosing to be a Christian is a lifestyle. Choosing to be a Satanist is a life. I have chosen this.

This is something I get to decide to be or not to be. Okay. You're born this way.

I don't care if you think that's true. I don't care what you believe. That is a fact.

These are the, this is who they are. This is who these people are. You don't, when were you heterosexual?

At what point did you recognize you were heterosexual? You were always that way. Right.

Right.

[Tommy Lavin]
And you know, whether you agree or don't, you know, that is, that is somewhat your personal belief, but as a, as a representative, it is not your place to get, I just, I mean, I just, the disgustingness of that, that quote, after a death happened is. A child in charge, in your charge, in your state is dead. Yeah.

And I just, I just have a very hard time that, you know, people are, I know there's some people that are outraged about this. There's a lot of people that are outraged about it. Well, yes, but what I mean is it's, it, it's gotten more and more airtime.

I remember a few days ago when I was like, this really needs to be covered on the actual news news. You know, you, you would see a lot on social media, you'd see articles written about it, but I hadn't seen an actual news story on it. And then it was either later that day or the next day, I finally saw a story that they, they talked about next.

I was like, okay, about damn time. I mean, it took a few days to get out there, but about damn time that we're, we're talking about this and it needs to continue to be talked about. And the problem is, is there's a hundred other nexus out there that aren't being talked about that, that their story isn't making the headlines because for whatever reason, you know, insert reason there wasn't phenomenal enough or didn't gander gander enough attention or whatever, but there's, there's a hundred, a thousand other nexus out there that have died in some way, shape or form, whether it's by assault or, or whether it's, you know, ending their own life because of the hate that they going, the ongoing hate that they deal with. And now it's not just, it's not hate from their peers.

It's hate from people who are supposed to represent everybody. When you become an elected representative, you're, you're not becoming a representative to, oh, I only represent the Christians in my, or the radical Christians in my area, right? That's not the way it's supposed to work.

You're supposed to represent everyone in your district. And just to follow up with a death by, by calling somebody filth is, I, again, I just, I'm, I'm at a loss for words because it pisses me off so bad. Yeah.

[Lilin Lavin]
Well, according to some reports at the end of 2023, more than 700 incidents of violence and threats targeting LGBTQIA people occurred over the past year. That was in 2023. Is that national or?

That was throughout the United States, including murder, harassment, assault, vandalism.

[Tommy Lavin]
And I would say that's a, that's a GLAAD.

[Lilin Lavin]
GLAAD and Anti-Defamation League report on extremism.

[Tommy Lavin]
Yeah. What I, what I'm saying is there's probably so many more that are unreported that just didn't get reported.

[Lilin Lavin]
26 transgender people since November, 2022 have been killed. They've been unalived in crimes motivated by anti-transgender bias. Think about that.

Just because they were transgender, they were unalived. Yeah.

[Tommy Lavin]
And these need to be treated as hate crimes because they are, you know, and if they're not being prosecuted as a hate crime, then the prosecutor is doing something wrong.

[Lilin Lavin]
The legal system is doing something wrong.

[Tommy Lavin]
Yeah.

[Lilin Lavin]
This is just what people are willing to report.

[Tommy Lavin]
That's what I was saying is this is probably that number's probably low that it's very, there's probably a lot more out there because there are probably a lot of unreported incidences, especially when it comes to things like vandalism and, and violence and stuff like that. Obviously every murder or gets reported, but you know, other forms of violence don't always, don't always get reported. And so I would say that number's probably pretty low compared to reality.

[Lilin Lavin]
No, I, yeah.

[Tommy Lavin]
You know, and that's, that's what I was trying to say is yes, there's, there's probably a lot more out there. You know, but again, I want, and I made a, you know, I made some social media posts the day that this happened or the day that the story came out anyways. And then when I was kind of walking through what the school district didn't do, what the teacher didn't do.

And I think everybody, they need, they need to investigate every single person throughout this, the kids that assaulted next to the administration that did nothing. I mean, even when I went to school, if you got in a fight, you, you were brought down to the principal's office and there was a resource officer there. I mean, that's assault, that's against the law.

It doesn't matter that, oh, well the other person was, you know, LGBTQIA. So it's not against the law. No assault is assault.

It, you know, it, and the, so the school dropped the ball on this. The police dropped the ball on it. Again, I was listening to that body cam and I could hear the officer really talking next his mom into, because it was up to next his mom, whether to press charges or not, because next was a minor.

And so he was really pushing on next his mom, not to press charges. He was going into the, well, you know, if you press charges, then, you know, they're going to be able to press charges back because next started the fight by throwing the water again, if this was a one-on-one fight and it was just a little scrap. Okay.

Yeah. But no, when three people jump in on one person, it doesn't matter if you threw the first punch, if you threw some water or something like that, that is excessive violence and excessive use of force.

[Lilin Lavin]
But I'm not a legal person. I'm not here to comment on the legality of it or what it is or isn't. What I'm, what I'm here to comment on is the tragedy of it.

[Tommy Lavin]
Yes.

[Lilin Lavin]
And the fact that this is just keeps happening again and again and again and again. I mean, Matthew Shepard's family put together a foundation to try and stop this. They have an entire organization out there to try and deal with this.

They have things on their site right now, addressing this, this incident that happened 20 some odd years later, after some idiots decided it was okay to kill their son.

[Tommy Lavin]
Yeah.

[Lilin Lavin]
You know, this is just an ongoing problem. So what, you know, other things that we can do, we can be supportive to the LGBTQIA community. They said that, you know, 82.7% of youth in a sample study that they did, and it was over all 50 States, you know, are out to somebody, one member of their immediate family. Oftentimes it's a sibling and sometimes it's parents, but you know, that's important. It makes a big difference being able to talk to someone to have a support person there.

[Tommy Lavin]
Well, and it's also, if you're a parent, it is to recognize and to love and treat your child in the way that they want to be addressed. When the officer was talking to Nex's mom, Nex's mom kept referring to them as her. Now the mother has come out and made a statement after that.

And it's unfortunate that it took Nex's death for this to happen, but it seems like the mother understands now and feels. It was honoring them for who they were, as I understand it. He even said on the headstone, it will be Nex's, you know, the name Nex Benedict.

It's, it's, you know, they are honoring Nex for who Nex was. And it's a, it's a tragedy that it sometimes takes something this bad for a parent to actually realize. But that is what, you know, LGBTQIA kids deal with.

They come home and they're not accepted at their house. They're not accepted by their family. They're not accepted by other peers.

There's, you know, so of course there's, there's issues that, that come up. And of course this leads to depression and, you know, just horrible things that happen in the community.

[Lilin Lavin]
I want to address that though. A lot of people sit there and say, well, the reason that they're dealing with this is because they've chosen to live an unnatural life. No, no, no, no, no, no.

It's because people out there in the world like you have made it your life's journey to make their lives as difficult as humanly possible, because they live in a way that you don't agree with. Well, I wouldn't say you, because most of our listeners, you know. I'm talking to the jackasses that feel like this is their life's mission.

I know that the majority of people out there that listen to this are on the side of what the hell is wrong with you? Just let them live their lives. But what I get angry at is people that purport to be of a specific religious denomination that is supposed to be loving and accepting and allow their deity to sort it out at the end of the day.

What business is it of yours in the interim to decide who gets to live and how they get to live?

[Tommy Lavin]
Yeah, I mean, if you take Jesus at his words, they shouldn't have a damn thing to say. You know, again, it's according to Christian beliefs. If you actually read what a Christian is supposed to be, yeah, they're supposed to let their God figure all that out.

That's not their place to lay judgment on anybody, and they're supposed to just love people unconditionally. Obviously, we all know. We all know very well that is not the way Christianity works throughout history.

I mean, we're not just talking now, but go back hundreds of years. It's just not the way Christianity works.

[Lilin Lavin]
It's not limited to Christianity. There are definitely other religions out there that have issues with it. And my point is, if you that will decide who gets to go where at the end of the sorting gate, which I don't believe exists, but you do.

So, that's the important thing for those religious people that do maybe listen.

[Tommy Lavin]
Yeah, I don't believe we're on an assembly line that at the end of our life, we get to be sorted in one way or the other. It's like, defect, you know, kind of, that's not the way that I view and that's not the way Satanists, you know, kind of view things.

[Lilin Lavin]
And I'm not going to decide. I mean, I'm not here to say how Satanists and, you know, the majority think, but I don't believe that many Satanists think that that's how anything works. I know, I don't believe that.

I think that this is the one and only life I get to live, and I'm going to do the best I can to live it well, and to share the best I can with the people that matter in my life. But it's really upsetting to me to know that there are so many people that are like Nex, that were non-binary, that are transgender, that are in the spectrum of different gender expansive identities that never get to hear their parents or their family use their proper pronouns. It's over half, half that people don't make that effort.

Now, I'm not pointing at Nex's mother, because Nex's mother has been incredibly apologetic and has chosen to try and honor them respectfully, which I appreciate. It shouldn't have taken that, but, you know, I don't know how they were the majority of the time. I don't know if stress played a part in the way that they talked.

I don't know how long they've been trying to work to do better, if they've worked at all. I don't know.

[Tommy Lavin]
Yeah, I don't know any of that situation. I just know what I heard on the tape. And again, you know, maybe it was new.

There's so many variables. I don't know. What I do know is, like you said, and what we've experienced is, because our kids, some of our kids were in GSA, Gay Straight Alliance, that was in school, and a lot of their fellow classmates that were in there, they didn't have a safe place.

Other than they would come to our house and our house was a safe place. They could be who they were, and we would, you know, we would honor them for who they were, but their parents would call us asking for them by, like, their dad name or, you know. The wrong gender.

[Lilin Lavin]
The wrong gender.

[Tommy Lavin]
Yeah. And, you know, I know there was times that we corrected them, but that doesn't always lead to a good situation either, because then...

[Lilin Lavin]
You've got to read the room. That's not always a good thing to do. And some of the kids were very clear to say, I'm not comfortable outside of here.

And of course, I would not do that. But when they were clear and the parents were aware, of course, I'm just going to try and gently nudge them to do the right thing. Or if I know they're just intentionally a jackass, then I'm probably going to say, oh, you mean so-and-so.

But, you know, you have to judge it and you have to honor what it is that the kids have said to you. Because you have no business outing them either. No.

But parental support is one of the most important things that you can do. In lieu of parental support, you can give community support. Big brother, big sister type programs or, you know, other programs of similar nature geared towards that.

You could register to be part of things like PFLAG or like the GSA, or there's different organizations that are out there trying to make a difference in the youth. Trevor Project does a lot of different things in the LGBTQIA community. So there are a lot of places that you can reach out and try to get involved.

[Tommy Lavin]
Well, and I think it's important for parents, like you said, it's important for parents to be involved and really be involved. I go back to when our oldest daughter was in high school and the GSA posters all got ripped down. And you went up to the high school.

Of course. And you went right to the office and were like, I need to report a hate crime.

[Lilin Lavin]
Oh, yeah.

[Tommy Lavin]
They did not like that.

[Lilin Lavin]
The lady was like, there's somebody here to report. Yeah, it was bizarre. A hate crime.

She literally picks up the phone to talk to the office. And then she covers the phone receiver with her hand as she whisper talks the words hate crime. There was really nobody around.

So I don't know what she was doing that for. It was a little weird. I mean, we're talking, you know, like eight years ago.

But for our oldest at the time, and it was just a weird experience. And then to their credit, the vice principal came in, we had a discussion, they were very frank, they apologized, they did have cameras around the school, they were aware, all the things you know, that they tell you, and they did try to make efforts to actively support the GSA in the school and to create those safe spaces. This is also the same school where other things had gone on.

And they were very familiar with me coming up to all the schools are very, all the schools are very familiar with that. The other thing you can do, go and be involved in your kids school work to ensure that there are places for all individuals.

[Tommy Lavin]
Yeah, be an advocate for your child. You know, that is that is so, so, so important.

[Lilin Lavin]
One, one loving parent in the childhood of an LGBTQIA youth can make the difference. The whole difference between them being able to lead a happy life and them choosing something that will be regretful for the rest of, you know, your life as a parent. So it is incumbent upon us to understand that our children are not small cutouts of us.

They're not small extensions of us. They don't owe us anything. And yeah, you brought them into existence, but that doesn't mean they owe you for it.

[Tommy Lavin]
Yeah, you don't, you don't get to live vicariously through your children. And if they choose a path different than your, you know, idealized version of their life, I said, choose a path, which was wrong. In some cases, choosing like, maybe you don't become the doctor that they thought you would be or maybe you pick a different religion.

You know, so whether it's a chosen path, or whether it is just accepting who they are, if it doesn't live up to your, you know, your dream of your children, well, guess what? Put your big person pants on and, and realize that's the real world. You know, you, hopefully you were a little bit different than what, you know, you didn't just do every single thing and follow your parents dream.

You know, you, I want my kids to follow their dreams. I want them to follow their goals, what they want to do and who they are in life, not who I think they should be or who I want them to be.

[Lilin Lavin]
Well, and imagine just for a moment that you just don't put these preconceived ideas on who your kids are supposed to be. I don't think a lot of people listening are those type of parents, but why not just support them and give them all the tools they need to be a competent individual on their own, and then let them use those skills to be whoever it is they want to be.

[Tommy Lavin]
Yeah, but I mean, back to that, that Tom Woods fucker. I mean, I take that comment very personal, because he's talking about my children. You know, he's talking about other people that I know, and I care about.

[Lilin Lavin]
Our community, a lot of our community is on a spectrum of different gender identities. Yep. A lot of people that we love and care about are on a, just, we know so many people that this is not a small subset of humanity.

These are human beings that you're talking about. Yeah.

[Tommy Lavin]
Tom Woods is a horrible freaking person. Yeah. Tom Woods, Ryan, what's his fuck.

I mean, the whole slew of them. Like I said, there needs to be. Yeah, and it spills over.

It's not just Oklahoma. It's Oklahoma, it's Texas, it's Florida.

[Lilin Lavin]
If you're in a state with people like this representing schools or politics or anything that's important in your community, do something. Speak against it. Write letters.

Find other people that want to run to take those positions. Take the position yourself. As a satanist, I can tell you I'm probably not ever going to be elected into a position, but if I were, I would work very hard to represent Christian individuals, Jewish individuals, you name it.

I'm going to do what I can to represent them as people, to make sure their rights are respected because they deserve that.

[Tommy Lavin]
Well, but that's it. You should be working towards equality.

[Lilin Lavin]
Right. Because they didn't have to choose to put me in there and whether or not they voted for me, I'm here representing them now.

[Tommy Lavin]
Right. But equality isn't, I'm going to rephrase that. Equality shouldn't be a difficult thing.

It's you treat everybody the same. The laws apply to everybody the same. The opportunities apply to everybody the same.

[Lilin Lavin]
I don't care what your ethnicity is. I don't care what your gender is. I don't care any of those things.

What I care about is whether or not you deserve to be represented and you do, no matter what it is. If you can respect other people, and this is a very basic thing for me, respect bodily autonomy and consent. That includes children.

You have to respect their bodily autonomy and they have a right to say no. This is what we get to do as adults. You don't get to just impose your will on people just because they're younger than you.

You don't just get to decide who they are. You don't get to decide if they can exist. And it is incumbent on us as adults in our society to speak up for them, to stand in the way of the violence and to work to address it and to call people out and to be representative for them, to let them know that they matter and that they're loved and supported so that they don't have to feel alone.

And so that they have, you know, the ability to kind of brush some of this stuff off more and to know that they have someone to go to to discuss it and safe places to, you know, go through their feelings about it. Yeah.

[Tommy Lavin]
I mean, this has probably been a pretty damn intense episode, but it was because what happened to Nex was so fucking unnecessary. It was so fucking unnecessary. Again.

Again. Yeah, again.

[Lilin Lavin]
Nex is another in a long line of individuals that never ever should have ever had to be gone. Yeah.

[Tommy Lavin]
And like I said earlier, there's hundreds, thousands of Nex's out there and this should not be going on. It is fucking 2024 now. It is not 1904.

It's not 1804, 1704. We're not fucking burning people at the stake and shit like that. Although I know that's where certain individuals want to bring us, but it is 2024.

It is time as society for us to realize that there are people that are different than you and that's okay. It's actually great. It's fucking great.

Who wants a world where everybody's the fucking same, where everybody is like a fucking carbon copy going down the line? And I don't know. It's this one just really pissed me off.

[Lilin Lavin]
It's been probably put out there a lot, but I don't think we can talk about it too much because we didn't talk about it enough. And here we are with the loss of yet another beautiful, intelligent person who should be here right now, who should be growing up and should be contributing to the world because they had so much to give. And all of these people in our society have so much to give.

If you would just get past your silly biased crap and just accept them as human beings because that's what they are. I'm going to take a deep breath and just know that if you are a member of the LGBTQIA community, we support you. We love you.

We appreciate you as you are. We want you to know that you matter and to let your friends and family that you trust know to develop a support system, to reach out to your friends and family and to understand that what you're seeing, the loud things you're hearing, it's not everyone. It is a very crappy minority of hateful individuals that are so stuck in their own misery that they want to ruin everyone else's life.

And unfortunately they have focused so much of that on you. And I am so, so sorry.

[Tommy Lavin]
Yeah. And I will agree with you. It is a loud minority.

It really is. And it's unfortunately that they've been able to weasel into positions where they get to make decisions.

[Lilin Lavin]
Yeah, but you are respected and you matter and you have a lot to offer. So do not let these very angry people ruin your lives because you are the light of our future. You're going to help make huge differences, good differences.

It's happening already. We've got people in different positions legislatively that are part of the community that are making a big difference and you can be part of that in the future. So do not give up.

There is so much and so many who want to love and support you along the way.

[Tommy Lavin]
Yeah. I think that's a great place to end this episode. So with that, good day, good night, good morning, wherever the hell you're at in the world.

Remember, you matter. Hell Satan.

[Lilin Lavin]
Hell you.

[Tommy Lavin]
Hell you. Hell Satan.